When your Mum is your biggest troll!

Facebook is pretty big these days. It didn’t used to be.

I grew up a 90’s child, we had walkman’s and Nintendo 64’s, if we were LUCKY!! The Teletext was a big deal and I still remember the shock as I sent my first text message via my massive Nokia and the person received it (like a little tiny letter!) It blew my mind.

I’m 31, and I am really only just the era of people who grew up with the Internet. When social media boomed and we all set up Myspace accounts, with their sparkly designs and the big deal about picking your top 5 friends on there (those that went on mine informed me it often crashed their computers with the amount of flashing icons I had on there!), the world changed.

Suddenly our lives were out there. Pictures, comments, video, status’. We were poking people we didn’t know and being friends with people we didn’t know in real life, online. We were being nosey neighbours, but with the luxury of not having to move from our sofas.

It was big news.

The problem was not everyone was ready for this, the world was not ready to hear what everyone had to say. Suddenly we realised our Uncle Joe was a massive racist and your old singing teacher really loved ‘SEXY lesbian pics’, wow it was an eye opener.

It was OK for a while because our parents, they didn’t get it, they stayed away and we could all just enjoy socialising and experimenting with who we were at that point in our lives. We could post drunk photos and swear to our hearts content, without repercussions or comment.

Those days are gone. Those days are GONE, my friends.

The older generations are on Facebook!

My parents are on Facebook, my aunties and uncles are on Facebook, my GRANDMA is on Facebook!

Now I’m not hating on anyone a bit older than me here, there are many who are perfectly adapted to life online. They have learnt the rules, have kept their heads down and know when to keep out of it.

Then there are those that don’t.

My Mum doesn’t really understand Facebook, she will admit that and has unwittingly become one of my biggest trolls.

What she has yet to realise is that EVERYONE can see her comments and she can look rather critical at times.

I post a picture of me and I will get a “Is that my necklace!? I want that back!”

New nails “Ugh horrible.”

New tea pot set “I don’t like those!”

I am honestly surprised one of my followers hasn’t had a go at her yet, saying as it’s not obvious, by name that we are related.

The thing is, I use Facebook for business, (as a actress, model, and success coach) not for playing around (most of the time) and comments like that on my business page, not so useful. You really don’t need your Mum calling you out in front of potential new customers/clients. It might make you look a teensy bit like a chastised 7 year old.

The last thing you need when your potential new clients are watching is you being ‘told off’ by your Mum for not answering the phone!

My Dad isn’t much better. He’s slightly more online savvy, but as a hardened atheist and vocal lefty (all amazing lovely views, by the way) he is VERY ranty online! VERY!

He does however tag me in lots of videos and links to car crashes and young children in danger in someway. He’s terrified of me and my sister driving and even more worried about our children, so I have to endure watching a child fall through the gap while getting off a train, or a dying person in a car crash! Why? What are you tagging me in this depressing stuff for Dad!

My Grandma is amazing, I am SO proud of her for being on Facebook and I love the fact she likes ALL my photos (she can also Skype by the way!) what a total legend! She did have a hilarious Facebook mishap though when her cooker broke down. She obviously wanted to be on the Argos page and was just putting status’ up, like ‘Argos I need a new oven, in the Byker area’ (Byker is a place in Newcastle upon Tyne)

So cute and so funny.

I have read endless accounts of cringeworthy comments from parents and thankfully mine aren’t TOO bad, but I thought I’d offer a few tips to the older generation:

Caps lock is like you are shouting.
Everyone can see your status’
When you like things, it show up on other peoples Facebook newsfeeds (so don’t like anything inappropriate, *cough* porn *cough*)
Assume your children don’t want to be told off in public.
If you want to message your child about ‘not calling you’, you should PRIVATE message them-Learn what this is.
Don’t comment on every single post your child makes, it does nothing for their street cred
When you say something on Facebook, it is on the internet and can be retrieved FOREVER, be careful what you say.
Spell check is your friend
Don’t try and become friends with your children’s friends, even if you know them
Don’t given out private info or arrangements via Facebook (“Off on holiday for two weeks, lovely!” is an invitation to get your house burgled!)
Don’t be the first to reveal family members big news, make sure they have shared this already or want people to know. Let them lead you on this.

So anyway Snapchat and Instagram are huge now too and the word is the ‘kids’ are heading there in droves!

I still love you Facebook and I think once my mum stops trolling me, I will love you even more. Mum, yes the necklace is yours, my nails look amazing and I did call you, you didn’t pick up, now lets keep it off Facebook.