I AM SICK OF IT!!!!

Thats’s it, I have had enough!

I have had enough of being bombarded with information that is intended to make me feel bad about myself.

I switch on my TV and it’s slimming adverts, the new fad, join this gym, buy this work out DVD.

I pick up a magazine and it’s gossip about ‘celebrities’, he said, she said, they’re fat, they’re thin, look at these thigh gaps!

Social media is a mine field of anger, bullying, snide comments and people faking their lives.

I am sick of it!

Those that know me, will know I am sickeningly positive. I’m the glass is half full, with a cherry on top kinda gal and I will seek out the positives in everything, but even I am sick of having to work so hard.

What I want is people to be free to be themselves, for us not to be ashamed of the things we really like, to open up and be vulnerable, without it being some big drama, or filmed for a reality TV show.

It’s beginning to feel like we are all just going on along with this big, crazy charade and it’s making us feel so lost and anxious.

2017 is the year of authenticity, the year to get real, the year to be unashamedly YOU.

So lets get real. Whether I want to change it, or not, my truth right now is this:

I am 32, I am a Mum of two girls, most days I don’t wash my hair and chuck it into a ‘mum bun’. I live in Coventry in the UK, not a flash pad in Beverley Hills and I often eat cookies for breakfast.
I am obsessed with watching law and order Special Victims unit and I moved in with my husband two days after meeting him.
I like reading, meditating and I rarely drink alcohol, I swear a lot and even though I am confident, can get overwhelmed by social situations.
My husband, who I have been with for 8 years, has grade 4 brain cancer and had his second brain surgery in August 2016.
My family is spread out around the country and world and I don’t get to see them often enough.
I am one of those that will forget to message people back, whilst actually really caring about them (sorry about that!)
I have stretch marks on my stomach and even though I think I’m attractive and like the way I look, even though I know they are there because I’m tiny and two humans grew in there, if I could click my fingers and they were gone, they’d be gone!
I would rather go on a spa retreat, than a night out doing shots.
My house is a mess, I’m just not ‘that’ girl, I am a MESS. I turn up to places with loads of bags, I drop things and I probably fall over as I meet you. I am a chaotic whirlwind and refuse to fight that any longer.
I often have no clue what I am doing and can be quite impulsive in making decisions.

This is me. This is who I am.

I am also:

The girl that started work at 11 after writing a letter to the casting director of a TV show and somehow bagging myself a job.
The girl who at 19 signed to Sony Uk and released a single.
The girl that somehow appeared on Top of The Pops, MTV, Nickelodeon and Disney and toured the UK singing and interviewing.
The girl who has appeared in magazines, on radio and TV most of her life and still gets excited by it when it’s for work I am proud of.
I’m the girl that goes out of her way to help strangers, just because it’s the right thing to do.
The girl that has two amazingly compassionate and beautiful daughters, that when they were born shook my world in the most beautiful way.
The girl who met the love of her life 8 years ago, a person I have the deepest connection with and I know that whatever else happens I have experienced something that many will never and I feel incredibly lucky.
The girl that wakes up every day and does what she wants (which is mostly pottering around reading and drinking tea!)
The girl that has made some pretty dam good decisions over the years that mean whatever life chucks my way, I am able to deal with.
The girl that will stand up for things that are important, makes her voice heard and put her money where her mouth is.
The girl that gets emails daily from people who like what I do and feel motivated by something I have said, or written. I will never get bored of this, it blows my mind.
The girl that after years of growing up hating the way I looked and criticising every part of myself, loves herself.
The girl that didn’t get the DEGREE and do the uni route, who never got a proper job and somehow has a bloody brilliant life.

We can sit and look at our lives and tell the story in whatever way we wish.

The Mum who looks at ‘that girls’ Instagram who is travelling the world, with her amazing body and positive quotes, may look at ‘that girl’ with envy. What ‘that mum’ might not know is that ‘that girl’ is desperate to settle down, have children and the travel makes her feel lonely.

What you have right now, someone else is desperate for, so decide to ignore the bollocks that is intended to make you buy more stuff you don’t need, distract you from more important things and doesn’t serve you AT ALL and focus your attention on whats great about your life.

Without gushing too much about my own life, I was washing the dishes the other day and I looked out of the rainy window and I thought ‘I love my life’. It’s not perfect, it has some seriously hard stuff in it, but it’s also brilliant and new things happen all the time.

I will not ‘get in line’ and compare my life endlessly to other peoples, I do not know their truth and it merely distracts me from my own goals.

It’s OK to be YOU. In fact it’s more than OK, its great! Be weird, lets yourself go, forget other peoples opinions of you.Give yourself a break, let go of what it was ‘supposed to be’ like and enjoy the ride!