As I’m a new blog starting out, I have been reading lots of other blogs to see what works and what doesn’t. I have tweeted a few times about recommendations and had the pleasure to read some phenomenal blogs and genuinely laughed out loud and cried too.
Today I have been reading some fab work by The Dadventurer via the lovely Honest Mummy (who is equally fabulous) and one of his posts was about the Top 5 things he found out he hated, since becoming a Dad. I resinated with ALL of the hates and the post got me thinking of all the things that I hate!. I am a joyous character at times. Ok I’m not talking about the crisis in the middle east here or anything remotely as serious, perhaps I shall rename this post ‘things I say I hate, but are merely mild irritations, that I rant about and then move on from, rather quickly after a cup of tea and a cake”
So thank you for the inspiration Dave, my list goes like this (in no particular order)
1: People who since the smoking ban (and their removal from indoors) now feel its totally fine to stand directly in the doorway to smoke.. So now, NOW, we have to walk through their smoke when we enter and leave.
What the hell?!
Have you gone mad?
This isn’t OK?!
I now have to walk my children through your smoke and have to feel awkward, whilst giving you my ‘you’re a twat’ look whilst ushering my daughters through. How is this better for everyone? I know, I know, bring on the hate from smokers everywhere. I don’t care, smoking is shit, it gives you all kinds of health related problems, stinks and makes you look like a 90’s throw back. I don’t feel sorry for you, I don’t feel bad that you can no longer smoke indoors. I don’t feel bad that now I can enjoy my dinner in peace without the worry that some moron is going to spark up, as I’m about to tuck into something delicious, or worry that if I jump on the train too late I might get stuck in the smoking carriage, where I can’t bloody breath for smoke (I mean seriously can we actually acknowledge how crazy it was to have a smoking carriage!!) I don’t feel bad that you have to leave the company of others to wander outside and indulge in your addiction, moaning about the cold on route. I don’t smoke and I don’t want to breath it in! Now GET OUT OF THE DOORWAY!
Ok, this is great, I’m really getting warm now and I actually think this could be a lot like therapy, probably.
2: Queue jumpers, those that ‘push in’ (pusherinerers*). I’m British. To be British means, ingrained in our psyche is ‘form an orderly queue’. We learn to queue very early on and it’s polite, it’s neat and it’s fair. If I have been waiting patiently, for longer than you, it is only fair, right and proper that you, my friend, should wait behind me until I’m done.
You rarely get the overt queue jumper and I’m afraid and I hate to say it, as I love old people, BUT you’re the ones that do it (you think we don’t see you, we do.) Theres also the ones that when a new till is opened at a checkout, dart from the back of your queue into the new space. WOAH THERE! NO, just no! That is not right. You should allow those in front of you in that space first, why? Because they have waited longer than you already!!!! Perhaps a gentle tap on their shoulder “hey there buddy, I’m not sure if you’re aware, but good fortune has come your way and a brand new till has opened up, fly free brother/sister, the space is yours!’ You may even find that, that kindly person may thank you and allow you to take it anyway, but it should be there choice. Do not try and push in front of me in a queue, I will call you out and I will shame you (please note, I’m not easily embarrassed, I’m an actress and I can be really, really weird).
3: Bad customer service. Outside of acting I have done all kinds of customer facing stuff, not least as a promotional model, I get it, the public can be annoying. However, if you are the face, if you are the at the forefront of a business, then you need to be polite, inviting, open and happy. If I walk into your shop, I should be greeted warmly, not hounded, just a nice warm smile, a ‘hello’, ‘Let me know if I can help you at all’ etc. Far too often recently I have walked into a shop to people with their heads down, silence in the shop and a hasty retreat from me. This is obviously much worse if I have to purchase something from this shop, because then I hate my purchase, I begrudge that you have my money and I will make sure EVERYONE I know, knows about your bad service. Social media is just a click of a button away & I can’t promise that in my fury I won’t Tweet. You have been warned.
The thing that annoys me is that it doesn’t take much to make a great impression. It really takes very little to stand out in an often so disengaged front line of staff, just smile, look alive and connect with people. Even if you hate your job, go through the smiling motions and plot your way out/build your empire whilst I’m gone. I’m easily impressed, humour me, your business will thrive.
4: Cryptic Facebook status’ that say things like:
“on my own again then”
“I love being treated like this, thanks”
“At least I know who my friends are now, what goes around, come around”
You know what I’m saying! Attention seeking and boring. They at best get some likes and a barrage of ‘huns’ saying ‘HUN are you ok?’ “Babe, call me” “Name and shame babe, you ok?”
It’s just vile to read and no one comes out looking a winner. The BEST one I ever read and I have it saved on my phone is this, It read:
OH MY GOD, EVERYTHING IS RUNIED, EVERYTHING, WHAT A NIGHTMARE!!!! I GIVE UP, NOTHING EVER GOES RIGHT FOR ME!!! IM FUMING!!!!
“Hun you ok?”
“OMG babe, whats happened! call me”
“whatsapp me honey, are you OK?”
A hour after her status was posted, yes, a mere HOUR after her life was over and EVERYTHING RUINED, she posted in the comments:
“Hi girls, don’t worry all sorted now, I’m fine lol ;-)”
Are you shitting me!? Hilarious, so, so funny. You cannot have that status and then an hour later, that be it.
I would share the picture, but it’s someone I went to school with and that would be wrong (hilarious, but wrong-I do however share it regularly with friends and laugh my socks off.)
You all know I love social media and I’m sure many would argue I have a cheek to discuss what others post, when Im a prolific social media tweeter/status updater and Instagraming Youtuber, but you will never get that kind of status from me (scroll through if you can be bothered)
Frankly this rumoured UNLIKE button cant come quickly enough.
5: People who stick to the rules, even though logic is staring them in the face.
Let me give you two great examples on this one.
Last week, me and my husband went into Solihull (West Midlands) for a free cuppa and a cake from John lewis JOHN LEWIS FREE CARD but we also wanted a bite to eat elsewhere. We stumbled on a nice cafe in the centre of their shopping centre and ordered toasties, which came with a free cup of coffee. We didn’t want the coffee as we were leaving there to get tea and cake, so my husband turned to the lady behind us in the queue and said ‘would you like a free coffee?’. The lady was overjoyed at the gesture and even promised to give the money she had saved, to the Guide Dogs charity stand, which was next to the cafe.
You would think that this could be a lovely moment, a connection between strangers, witnessed by others and a charity doing well out of it too. NO. In comes ‘stickler for the rules’ ‘you can’t give the coffee to that lady’ Me: ‘why not?’ “Because its supposed to be for you, not someone else” Me: “OK, well it is for me.” as I turn to the lady and ask her to join us for lunch. As it goes, she does and we have a lovely chat and no harm was done. BUT why??? I mean, the lady at the cafe could see the good in the exchange, why make such a fuss over a £2 coffee?
Stickler two: Years back I was doing panto in Maidstone in Kent when after a show, Aaron Sidwell and I were sat having some after show drinks. I’m not a big drinker at all, I rarely drink and I wanted a cider and black (I know I was clearly feeling classy as hell that day) which I asked Aaron to get me a straw for, which he did.
Suddenly someone from the bar comes bounding over like the secret police, telling me ‘you can’t have a straw.’ Im confused. Me: ‘why?’ ‘because it makes you get drunk quicker and we have a policy with certain drinks.’ ‘Are you serious?” I say, to angry rule enforcer ‘Yep!, its not allowed!” Me: “Riiight, this makes sense. So you’re saying I can order 10 Sambucas and neck them on the bar, all at once, but if use a straw with my half a cider and black, your confiscating my straw?” “Yes its not allowed.’ she said clearly not understanding the lunacy of this and pumped more than someone should have been about ‘straw gate’. This ended with me leaving with all the cast.
I know there has to be some rules, but for god sake questions them! Don’t be a robot, think for yourselves, or you will lead a sad and pathetic existence of straw pinching and tutting.
This is now the end of my HATE filled rant of a blog. I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have enjoyed getting this all off my chest. I also type a lot faster when I’m fuelled by internal boiling point, which is handy.
Please share this if you agree with any of the above and let me know yours.